Coercive control is a form of abuse 

Sometimes, domestic abuse involves physical contact. However, it can also be triggered by coercive control. This is a pattern of abuse that involves frightening or humiliating the victim.

This type of abuse aims to make the victim dependent on others. It strips them of their independence and prevents them from regulating their daily activities.

In many countries, coercive control is a crime putting a significant dent in the growing problem of domestic abuse.

Coercive control can create a sense of fear and invisible chains in the victims’ lives. It can also limit their rights and prevent them from taking action. According to Evan Stark a renowned sociologist, this type of abuse resembles being held hostage. He stated that the victim is trapped in a constantly changing and confusing unreal world.

Coercive control can look like this:

• Isolating you from family and friends,

• Control your time

• Monitor your activities online.

• Preventing you from accessing vital services, such as medical assistance.

• Degrade or dehumanize you.

• Control your finances.

• Make you feel worthless.

• Restrict or demand sexual activity by making demands that include the number of times you have sex each day and the type of activities that you perform.

One of the most extreme forms of intimidation that a victim can experience is the threat of violence against their pets or children. When the abuser’s emotional, financial, or physical threats do not work, they may turn violent against these individuals.

The person who exerts control over you may try to limit your autonomy and freedom. For instance, they may prevent you from going to school or work, change your passwords, and stalk you at random moments.

The abuser can also manipulate the truth to make their victim believe that they are always right. This type of abuse is known as gaslighting. In essence, it involves lying and deceiving the victim.

Examples of extreme forms of bullying include severe criticism and name-calling.

One of the most common forms of abuse that the abuser can use is financial control. This type of abuse is used to prevent the victim from leaving their relationship. It can also restrict their freedom and prevent them from functioning correctly.

This abuse often involves placing you on a tight budget, which only covers essential items, such as clothes or food. It also prohibits you from using a credit card, and it rigorously monitors your spending.

How to get help or get out of this situation:

When a pattern of behavior becomes abusive, it’s considered abuse. You don’t have to accept that in a relationship. There is help available.

You can gain perspective by talking to other people who are not in a relationship with you. This can help you identify the issue and resolve it.

The reason why you may be forbidden to talk about your relationship with friends and family is that the abuser fears that you will leave if you receive feedback and support.

If you are seeking assistance to extricate yourself from an abusive partner, assistance is available. You do not have to resort to self-reliance. Some organizations can help you escape from an abusive partner.

You should consider working with an agency that can assist you in developing an exit strategy that is secure for you. This may involve access to funds, travel accommodations, legal protection, and more.

If you are seeking assistance to extricate yourself from an abusive partner, you have the option to seek help from a couple of therapists, including a certified sex or couple’s therapist, or a specialist in emotional focus therapy.

Therapy for couples can be helpful if you want to maintain a positive relationship and your partner’s commitment to improving.

An individual may have grown up in a dangerous and traumatic environment, and they may have viewed coercion as an adaptive tool to meet their needs. They may not have considered it to be coercive, as it was modeled to them from their experiences.

Summary: 

The umbrella term for abusive conduct that involves harm is coercion control. Although it is often associated with physical violence, coercion may also include other forms of aggression.

Although couples therapy can help maintain a positive relationship, it’s often necessary to leave an abusive situation. If you’re worried about being able to control your partner or would like to learn more about how to escape an abusive relationship, you can reach out to national or local agencies.